Saturday, February 19, 2011

Tips To Help You Talk Money To Your Sweetheart

...And Then Sometimes Valentine's Day Sucks!Image by Sister72 via Flickr


This past Valentines Day just brought out the best side of me. When my wife and I talk about money these days it's good to know it won't turn into a knock down drag out fight like it used to. We have learned to talk calmly about money and practically know how the other will respond in any situation..

During are early years of marriage money was very tight. We were combining families and lives. It wasn't easy because most of our fights were about money. We both came from different experiences with money. Our families handled money differently. We had to get used to each other and also our spending-saving habits.

I found that the number one thing to solving money issues was communication. We had to check our baggage at the door and talk openly about the reasons for our differences. We had to be careful not to be hurtful and try to resolve little issues before they festered into big ones. Having those smaller open discussions headed off the potentially bigger ones down the line.

With so many differences we had to find common ground. We tried not to dwell on our past experiences but we set goals and figured ways to arrive at them. It wasn't easy but we kept trying. There was some times when the wheels came off the wagon. But with time and patience we persisted.

We found out early that if we didn't do the math and have a game plan but just relied on our talks we would fail. Putting your goals in writing, setting up a spending plan and tracking actual household income and expenses was imperative to success.

When discussing all this financial stuff we had to methodical and not emotional think about what we we're doing and planning to do. We came together and didn't have a chance to stay together unless we were methodical about our plans.

Sometimes you have to lose a battle, to win a war. Each of us had to give up entrenched ideas and beliefs for the common good. This is very hard to do. Giving up habits that you know are good, but for the greater goals of the marriage, we had to agree to disagree.

Lastly we sought out professional help. Not a psychiatrist, because it feels that way now and then, but a financial expert. They will show you the things you overlooked and things to do, to make your plans happen.

Marriage poses many challenges. Sharing money decisions, in a caring way, will only strengthen your marriage. Not working together may cause your marriage to dissolve. Giving your trust to another is a big step. You trust your spouse with your heart, why not your money?

Reader, what situations cause money fights in your home? Or are you past that ?



2 comments:

  1. We haven't gone to a financial consultant YET.
    It may be in our near future.
    Another good article to help think through things.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm not even considering marriage at this point, but I do know if I ever do get married, it will be a huge step with lots of little hops involved. I will be using http://www.mutualfundstore.com/financial-impact-marriage to help me make some of those steps when ever it comes along.

    ReplyDelete

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