Saturday, December 15, 2012

What to Do When Divorce Really Isn't an Option

Family in tall grass
Family in tall grass (Photo credit: Jackal of all trades)

Adults naturally come together, and make plans for living together, as a natural course of life. Similar to the basic instinct which has salmon in the Pacific Northwest of the United States swimming upstream, against the currents, in order to return to the place of their birth and spawn before they die, adults tend to come together as couples for reasons which are both social and biological. Often times, this works out well, as the couples mature as their relationship deepens over time. This can be as a result of the challenge and joys of raising children, or facing whatever challenges life hurtles at them over time. There are some times however, where relationships just don't work out. Couples may have completely different points of view on fundamental issues, or they may be financial stresses which cause major problems.

Sometimes, the problems are not so severe, and the relationship is not so frayed, that divorce is an absolute necessity. In these cases, a separation, possibly on a trial basis, might be the best solution. It will give both people an opportunity to sort through their feelings, and somewhat rewind the tape of the last few months or years, in an effort to find some common ground. If there are children involved, it is obviously quite challenging to have a break up that doesn't affect them. One parent is going to wind up staying with them most time, and the other parent will be reduced to coming to visit, and spending some time with them on a schedule that hopefully both parents agree on.

The Trend Is Rising


Not surprisingly perhaps, the majority of parents that remain with the children are the mothers. This is due to several reasons, the primary one being the fact that the father typically is working, and can't be home for the children. The second reason is a little more complex, but has to do with the fact that in many cases, the maternal instinct is just stronger. The trend towards separating appears to continue to gain momentum. According to some statistics, there are between 150,000 and 200,000 couples that separate in England every year. In 1970, it is estimated that there were about 60,000 lone fathers. 35 years later, that number had more than tripled. This is obviously a disturbing trend, as it implies that children don't get to spend as much time with their fathers as they would probably like, or should.

When the Decision Is Reached


Couples that decide that the best course of action at this point in their lives is to have a separation need to consider all of the details carefully. This not only involves how to manage time with the children, but also overall financial concerns, which range from simple bank account ownership, as well as any other assets that are considered joint property. Nobody should tackle these issues without professional advice. There are many organizations and firms that can help with this specific type of situation and one should definitely consult them before making any final decisions, or signing any documents.

Author Bio: Jonny Pean is a US-based lifestyle writer covering the latest trends in modern society, and all of its implications, including separation. He writes on a freelance basis for many of the major lifestyle blogs.



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