Practical Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong After 50

According to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), divorces among people over the age of 50 have doubled since 1990. There are many reasons why the rates have skyrocketed, and understanding these reasons is one way to help maximize the divorce triggers. In addition to that, here are other practical tips for a happy marriage even until after your golden years.

Talk about it

One reason for failed marriages is avoiding issues rather than addressing them. Couples should get things out in the open and take time to talk to each other about anything that may be bothering them. If you think conversations like these will turn into shouting matches, you can always bring in someone else to serve as a mediator.

Laugh and smile

Humor plays a vital role in relationships, especially in long-term commitment. As you grow older, laughing and smiling are great ways to dissolve a heated situation. Instead of pointing the blame on each other, focus on laughing at mistakes. You can make fun of yourselves to resolve an issue and not take things too seriously. Laughter is the best medicine, right?

Practice selflessness

In some instances, all that is needed is a selfless act to rekindle a relationship. This little act of kindness goes to show how much you care for your partner. Remember, being selfless doesn’t mean losing yourself. Instead, it relieves moments from your younger days, when care was easier to express.

Spend time apart

When you retire, you and your spouse find spending hours and hours in each other’s company. While being physically together is beneficial, too much time together can also lead to feelings of suffocation. You may feel that you are no longer the same person. You can remedy this by doing things on your own, whether engaging in a new hobby without your spouse or spending time with friends. Short periods of separation can make the married couple's’ time together more meaningful.

Act like you’re dating

After many years of marriage, you often become less romantic with your partner. You may tend to forget the little details that made a relationship fun in the early years of being together. The sweet surprises, love notes, and flowers may slowly melt away after being together for some time. Now, in your 50s, make an effort to go on dates, exchange love notes and talk about what you love about each other. Cuddling, hugging, holding hands, and kissing is also a great way to show affection

Renew your wedding vows

Let’s face it. After 30 years of marriage, your wedding may only be a faint memory. To bring back the same passion you’ve felt during your wedding day, renewing your vows may be a great idea. You don’t need to spend so much like you did the first time, too. There are many resorts that offer all-inclusive vow renewal packages that are easy on the budget.

With the tips mentioned above, you can continuously enjoy a happy marriage and stay away from thoughts of divorce and separation.

About the author: Melissa Page is a professional writer based in San Diego, California. She writes about relationships and health on her group blog, Word Baristas. When she’s not writing, she’s bowling with her friends.

A Guide to Pension Sharing Orders

Like many people, you may be wondering ‘What is a Pension Sharing Order?’ A pension sharing order is made through the courts after a divorce or separation. Essentially, it is the process by which part or all of a pension is allocated to the pension holder’s former partner, who will then hold these benefits in their own right. 

A pension can be one of your most important assets, which is why it’s so important that a pension sharing order is implemented correctly. 

Implementing a Pension Sharing Scheme

To obtain a pension sharing order you will need to employ the services of an expert financial advisor, who will be qualified to advise you on the most suitable plan for dividing and re-investing pension benefits. All pension orders must go through the courts, who will determine exactly what proportion of a person’s pension must be allocated to their former partner.

A pension sharing order must be implemented within four months of the date when the pension scheme receives all of the pertinent paperwork. Each part of the scheme will have different requirements as to what documentation is needed so all paperwork must be delivered and processed on time to prevent delays in the pension sharing order.

The implementation of a pension sharing order is also dependent upon whether an internal or external transfer method is used by your pension scheme, which you should check before negotiations begin. 

Enforcing a Pension Sharing Order

To ensure that a pension sharing order is successfully enforced, it’s important that all parties go into the courts having asked a few important questions:
Whether or not the non-member can remain in the scheme.
Whether the pension sharing order recipient will need to wait until their normal retirement date, if the pension scheme in question allows for early retirement.
What charges will be levied by trustees, and if these need to be paid up front.
Whether or not your pension sharing order will accrue interest, either directly or through a qualifying agreement.
If internal documents need to be signed before a pension sharing order can be implemented, and the best way to go about gaining the signatures of both parties. 

The Advantages of a Pension Sharing Order

One of the reasons that so many people choose a pension sharing order is that it allows for both parties to make a ‘clean break’. Pension assets are split according to a percentage decided on by the courts, and a pension sharing order is managed from start to finish by court officials and an official pension sharing order advisor. 

Alternatives to Pension Sharing

There are several alternatives to a pension sharing order which may be used to divide pension assets in the event of a divorce or separation. Offsetting and earmarking are two of the other ways in which separating couples may decide to divide pension assets, however both are dependent upon certain other factors, such as the amount of available assets and the amicability of the separation.

What to Do When Divorce Really Isn't an Option

Family in tall grass (Photo credit: Jackal of all trades)

Adults naturally come together, and make plans for living together, as a natural course of life. Similar to the basic instinct which has salmon in the Pacific Northwest of the United States swimming upstream, against the currents, in order to return to the place of their birth and spawn before they die, adults tend to come together as couples for reasons which are both social and biological. Often times, this works out well, as the couples mature as their relationship deepens over time. This can be as a result of the challenge and joys of raising children, or facing whatever challenges life hurtles at them over time. There are some times however, where relationships just don't work out. Couples may have completely different points of view on fundamental issues, or they may be financial stresses which cause major problems.

Sometimes, the problems are not so severe, and the relationship is not so frayed, that divorce is an absolute necessity. In these cases, a separation, possibly on a trial basis, might be the best solution. It will give both people an opportunity to sort through their feelings, and somewhat rewind the tape of the last few months or years, in an effort to find some common ground. If there are children involved, it is obviously quite challenging to have a break up that doesn't affect them. One parent is going to wind up staying with them most time, and the other parent will be reduced to coming to visit, and spending some time with them on a schedule that hopefully both parents agree on.

The Trend Is Rising

Not surprisingly perhaps, the majority of parents that remain with the children are the mothers. This is due to several reasons, the primary one being the fact that the father typically is working, and can't be home for the children. The second reason is a little more complex, but has to do with the fact that in many cases, the maternal instinct is just stronger. The trend towards separating appears to continue to gain momentum. According to some statistics, there are between 150,000 and 200,000 couples that separate in England every year. In 1970, it is estimated that there were about 60,000 lone fathers. 35 years later, that number had more than tripled. This is obviously a disturbing trend, as it implies that children don't get to spend as much time with their fathers as they would probably like, or should.

When the Decision Is Reached

Couples that decide that the best course of action at this point in their lives is to have a separation need to consider all of the details carefully. This not only involves how to manage time with the children, but also overall financial concerns, which range from simple bank account ownership, as well as any other assets that are considered joint property. Nobody should tackle these issues without professional advice. There are many organizations and firms that can help with this specific type of situation and one should definitely consult them before making any final decisions, or signing any documents.

Author Bio: Jonny Pean is a US-based lifestyle writer covering the latest trends in modern society, and all of its implications, including separation. He writes on a freelance basis for many of the major lifestyle blogs.

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Debt and Marriage: When Do I Owe My Ex-Spouse's Debts?

Image via WikipediaWhile researching this article, I Googled the words "debt" and "divorce", I got over 14 million results. In our society, debt and divorce go hand in hand. With money problems the leading cause of divorce in our country I can see why. Even with many intact marriages money is a big point of contention. The bills are continually rising, it costs a lot to raise children and many other factors contribute to the problem. Sadly the strain, of money problems, can be devastating and many marriages end up in divorce.

In a divorce, the marriage you entered into with such high hopes, can be ended with the signature of a judge. The only problem is that debts are not eliminated so easily. If your in the pre-stages of divorce you may want to learn how the debts of the marriage are going to be looked at by the creditors. You may agree with your spouse or the judge may decide for you who is to pay the debts but your debtors don't look at it the same way you are.

With all forms of debt entered into you will find two ways the responsible parties are listed:

Individual Account:
Your income, assets, and credit history are considered by the creditor. Whether you are married or single, you alone are responsible for paying off the debt. The account will appear on your credit report, and may appear on the credit report of any "authorized" user. However, if you live in a community property state (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, or Wisconsin), you and your spouse may be responsible for debts incurred during the marriage, and the individual debts of one spouse may appear on the credit report of the other.

Pro's and Con's:
If you're not employed outside the home, work part-time, or have a low-paying job, it may be difficult to demonstrate a strong financial picture without your spouse's income. But if you open an account in your name and are responsible, no one can negatively affect your credit record.

Joint Account:
Your income, financial assets, and credit history - and your spouse's - are considerations for a joint account. No matter who handles the household bills, you and your spouse are responsible for seeing that debts are paid. A creditor who reports the credit history of a joint account to credit bureaus must report it in both names (if the account was opened after June 1, 1977).

Pro's and Con's:
An application combining the financial resources of two people may present a stronger case to a creditor who is granting a loan or credit card. But because two people applied together for the credit, each is responsible for the debt. This is true even if a divorce decree assigns separate debt obligations to each spouse. Former spouses who run up bills and don't pay them can hurt their ex-partner's credit histories on jointly-held accounts.

Authorized Users:
If you open an individual account, you may authorize another person to use it. If you name your spouse as the authorized user, a creditor who reports the credit history to a credit bureau must report it in your spouse's name as well as in your's (if the account was opened after June 1, 1977). A creditor also may report the credit history in the name of any other authorized user.

Pro's and Con's:
User accounts often are opened for convenience. They benefit people who might not qualify for credit on their own, such as students or homemakers. While these people may use the account, you - not they - are contractually liable for paying the debt.

Action Plan:

• If you're considering divorce or separation, it's important to make regular payments so your credit record won't suffer. As long as there's an outstanding balance on a joint account, you and your spouse are responsible for it.
• If you divorce, you may want to close joint accounts or accounts in which your former spouse was an authorized user. Or ask the creditor to convert these accounts to individual accounts.

Failure to do this usually leads to one spouse paying for a while but later defaulting because of lack of income or out of spite. This results in the other spouse having a ding on their personal credit report or eventually being sued by the creditor for not paying.

In a joint mortgage, the only way to get your name off the document is to have the home refinanced. Just having a judges decree for one spouse to pay the debt is not recognized by the creditor. Divorce does a good job of separating you legally from your spouse but does a bad job divorcing you from your spouses debts. It's going to be your job to divorce yourself financially from your spouse.