I was reading a post over at GetRichSlowly.com and read how top-notch blogger J.D. Roth has his finances separate form his wifes. I thought if it makes sense to him why am I so concerned.
Without all the cultural pressure of combining accounts and considering the relational pluses of having separate accounts, it makes sense in my life to have them separate. If you are someone who follows the work of Dave Ramsey, you know he says separate accounts are wrong. His reason for this is that if your keeping your account separate then your short circuiting a big part of the relationship. Having combined accounts gives you more ways to plan your lives together and foster more communication, resulting in a closer relationship.
For me in my first marriage, we combined are accounts. We were both in our early 20's, didn't have anything to lose, and we were fresh faced kids starting out in life. Little did we know someday all of it would be over. Fast forward to second wife. With remarriage, both parties already had established lives financially. Already established bank accounts, investments, and habits that were well entrenched. At that point combining financial styles and habits would be hard.
The choice of having separate accounts, over a decade, has convinced me it was the right move. Having things separate reaps benefits everyday in the avoidance of disagreements. We both have strong opinions when it comes to finances. Also being a combined family, with children from previous marriages, it's only another reason we are doing the right thing.
If you are at the point where you must consider having your finances combined or separate, here's a list of things to think about.
The arguments for combining finances are:
- If there is only one income, it doesn't make sense to have anything separate
- One person is financially inept at handling money. Combining money would only be the practical thing to do.
- You believe that joint finances are easier and economically make sense
- It's morally wrong to keep them separate and it shows a distrust of your spouse.
The arguments against combining finances are:
- You believe that with all the best intentions marriages fail, so whats the point.
- You both make the same amount of money. Then it's OK.
- Your family has a tradition of separate finances.
- It keeps the level of money fights to a minimum.
I can say I love my wife and I would trust her with everything I have. But I think keeping our finances separate has removed a point of contention and helped our marriage grow. Again it comes down to what's comfortable and right for you. When I want to give good advice to someone I think what would I tell my own children in the same situation. I would say be honest with your spouse and be honest with yourself in your feelings about money.
